All-nighter recap.

I have successfully transitioned from normal people hours to strange night shift hours. I’m not sure if I should consider it a success, considering there’s no specific reason why I switched my sleeping schedule around. I slept all day Sunday, then decided to really start my day by going to church at 7pm.

Flat Matt brought it and spoke on unfulfillment, the seemingly unattainable goals and expectations we have out of life. He explained the three ways to respond to “life’s disappointments”: blaming other people, things, or events, blaming self, and giving up. We dug into Romans 5:12-17, tracing death, sin, and the cause of this “need for perfection, wholeness” back to Adam and the fall. Although we each have individualized sins, our major sin was inherited and imparted to us in the womb. But, we have been gifted righteousness and grace through Jesus Christ. The resolution to the sermon didn’t make sense in my head, but I have a feeling that’s a summation of my spiritual conflicts as of late.

I spent my “afternoon” eating Panda Express and watching Ugly Betty. I picked up disc one yesterday and had to rent disc two tonight. I had never watched the show before, but having Blockbuster Online, I tend to rent random things such as this. This show has a lot of heart. It’s refreshing to have the heroine be a physically unattractive girl with awkward traits, but with such honesty and integrity. It’s goofy, but worth watching.

I spent the rest of the night attempting to write, redesigning the blog, and notably, checking out the Q&A session from Mars Hill’s first part to their newest series, Religion Saves and Nine Other Misconceptions.

I listened to half of the sermon the other day which was interesting, but if you want the on-the-fly, honest, graphic questions and answers, watch as Pastor Mark Driscoll answers questions texted to him after their last service. This is a church that is unashamed to talk about the “dirty things,” which “dirty” or not, should not be ignored. It’s not for kiddos or the faint of heart, so if you’re neither, check out the Q&A session here.

AT&T is coming to setup their U-Verse stuff between 8am and 10am today (which is in twenty minutes!) I am quite stoked to get rid of Time Warner, especially after the one month I had no service. Maybe I should take a nap before they get here.

Sufferings and infections.

People that saw me today had the same general reaction. “Oh my gosh, is that contagious?!” with a subconscious step back. Oh, and complete with a look of total disgust, unhidden, on their faces. It was fantastic.

Last Tuesday was a really great day, mainly because I finally got to see Jimmy Eat World live in an intimate, acoustic setting with a good friend after some good pizza. I had a grin on my face the whole night. Except there was a scrape on my arm that itched like a mofo. I commented about it several times to my friend, but just thinking my skin was acting dumb like it sometimes does.

The next day was worse. And then Thursday it became very apparent that my skin was not just acting dumb, but it was severely pissed off. The scratch on my arm had somehow spread to my other arm and then started to make its way to my legs. The bumps were almost like pimples, itchy, itchy pimples.

Cut to the chase, I was going out of town for work on Friday and I needed to find out if it was contagious (I really thought I had chicken pox). Two hours and $150 later, the doctor took one glance at me and said, “That is poison ivy.”

Two weeks beforehand, I had helped out at Transform, my church’s local summer missions project in inner city Dallas. I had the privilege of helping a sweet old lady named Irene clean up her backyard. I remember three things she said:

- “I don’t like chicken. I like pork chops.”

- “I wonder if there is still weed out here.” (no, she was not referring to the weeds that had overcome her backyard)

- “Watch out for poison ivy.”

I had never seen poison ivy before, but didn’t really see any “leaves of three.” So I didn’t let anything be. Oops.

This could not have happened at a better time. I set out for Asia next week for a short-term mission trip and had been warned about spiritual warfare. I don’t doubt this is part of some crazy plan to shape up and talk to the Lord more. Also, when my team saw my afflictions today, one team member smiled and said, “Praise God! Suffering in the Lord’s name!” I smiled because this very thought is only thing that’s keeping me from breaking down and taking Benedryl to sleep the week away, in hopes to awake with no more blisters on my skin.

Also, after the meeting, I went to church in which Matt Chandler spoke on I Peter 5:6-10.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

Chandler reminded us that although some may build their house on foundation of sand and others rock, both will hit by the storm. Suffering is undeniable and usually necessary - to remind us that we are small and helpless, to humble us, and so that God, at the proper time, will exalt us.

So here I am, feeling very unprepared for this trip, insufficient, and itchy, but what better place to be than at the feet of Jesus, humbled, weak, and thankful?

p.s. - I almost took a picture of the massive blisters on my arm, but decided it was not for the faint of heart. Or for anyone else.

Up dog.

Sorry it’s been awhile and I never posted my Northwest trip play-by-play. Most of my pictures are on my friend’s camera, so ’til then, I’ll keep those memories packed in my peanut memory the best that I can.

Ever since I got back from vacation, I feel like I’ve hit the ground running. I really don’t have much to show for it and I still manage to sleep a lot, but my body sure feels like it’s been busy and stressed. The other day I was talking to a friend and wondering how I could start my day at 6am and go ’til midnight during high school. My days were cram packed with activities, homework, and work, but I still managed to handle it all. What the heck is different? Certainly being seven years older isn’t a valid excuse. Hold on. Did I say seven years? Holy smokes.

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Have you turned water into wine lately?

I’ve been desperately desiring the Truth lately, but I haven’t been feeling like a sponge. More like a wall in which everything I learn bounces off. All these hours in a car for work has spurred me to continue digging in and I’ve been listening to sermons again. The past two days, I’ve listened to Rob Bell and his sermon, Wine and Heaven.

Rob has been my wild card in the midst of all the podcasts I listen to — primarily Matt Chandler from Highland Village’s The Village Church and Mark Driscoll from Seattle’s Mars Hill Church (not to be confused with Bell’s Mars Hill Bible Church in Michigan). There’s quite a few criticisms about him and how he tends to emphasize experience over Scriptures, but when I listen to him and read his books, his love for the Jewish culture and the Hebrew language makes it hard for me to believe all he says is junk. His teachings encourage me to learn more about culture during the times Scripture was written, to fully understand why the writers wrote the words they did.

Anyway, Wine and Heaven was a fairly long sermon for Bell and it was fairly scattered (although I was scattered making sure I didn’t get lost in Dallas during work). Towards the end, Bell hit a home run when it pointed out something in the Gospel of John… Read more »

Rebirth. (”I’m not dead yet! I feel happy!”)

It’s been well over a month since my last post, but I have my reasons. Mainly, I thought my last post was important, so I wanted to make sure everyone got to read it once or twice. But I’ve also been busy, furiously trying to focus on what I’ve found to be worth focusing.

Before I start rambling, I’d like to announce that I will be baptized Saturday night at the 7pm service at The Village Church.

A few of you may be surprised that I have not been baptized yet, in which you’d be halfway right. Without getting too much into it, I was baptized as a child, sprinkled with water, at the Catholic church my mom attended. My relationship with Jesus did not fully begin until I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior about five years ago. I always wondered if I should get baptized again, hearing the popular phrase, “Once baptized, always baptized.” However, after reading through the Gospels, I feel led to be baptized as Jesus was baptized. This act will not save me, as I have been saved already, but it is my chance to show Jesus I love Him, and to my church, ask that they love me - that in my new life, I hope they will rebuke me, forgive me, and love me.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” - 2 Cor 5:17

If you had asked me before I moved to Dallas what I thought about Christianity - the church, the Christians, the strange culture - I probably would have given you words of cynicism. To be honest, I still will. Because let’s face it. Christians give Christianity a bad name too often. Ultimately, I believe it’s up to God’s mercy to save unbelievers, but seriously, nothing will turn an unbeliever away from Jesus quicker than a hypocritical, self-righteous Christian.

I know this because I am too often that Christian. I have hated a brother and sister in need. I have created some imaginary ladder of goodness, ranking myself higher than others in the morality scale. I will try and justify my evil deeds, but be quick to condemn others. I have claimed that I love Jesus with all my heart, yet fail to show it. And I have seen my ugliness leave a bitter taste in people’s hearts.

I didn’t love the Church because of most people’s excuse - The Church is full of hypocrites. No, actually that is why I love the Church. It is a community of broken, ugly people that know they are in desperate need of a Savior. I didn’t love the Church because I saw churches as businesses. I saw their grand buildings, their well-dressed people, they new, hip services and contemporary music. I saw their desperate attempts to lure in new people, but too often I felt they missed the point.

But I didn’t give up on the Church. I continued to seek for a community of believers to share life with and prayed that this would not be a search in vain, something to quench my selfish needs. But the more I read the Scriptures, the more I craved community - some place to learn, some people to love, just somewhere I could admit that I am not okay and be safe.

I read somewhere that the bar is probably the closest thing some people get to church. Like the Cheers theme song goes, it’s “where everyone knows your name.” You can feel safe, accepted, and loved. But at what expense? And how long does that feeling last?

But I have finally found community. It is broken and it is tough, but we declare we are desperately in need of Jesus and desperate to love and be loved. I am excited to have the opportunity to stand in front of my church Saturday night and tell them my testimony (in a nutshell, of course). I am excited to have my small group and good friends present, even having one of my closest friends perform the baptism — that they can all witness the symbolism that I am dead to my old life, but am now alive in Jesus Christ, a new life. And I am excited to see where this journey continues to take me, forever thankful for everything it’s been so far.

(A cookie for whoever knows that movie I’m quoting in the title!)