“You’re on your knees a lot!”

Today was a much better day, mostly because I am home right now and not still working like yesterday. But at my last call, a client that took me four visits to finally get his entire house networked made this strange comment to me as I was finishing up.

“You’re on your knees a lot!”

He and his wife just moved into the house and there was little room for me to work on his laptop, leaving me to either stand or kneel. I’m not sure if he saw my “gross, you did not just say that” face, but certainly he heard my nervous laugh.

There are some strange cats out there.

The company I work for is nationwide and we have a forum that helps me keep up-to-date on technology and also provides a good release when work starts to drive us crazy. Here’s an example of some of the random clients we run across - the kind that asks you for help, but then suddenly know more than you do. Thanks to the fellow coworker out there that submitted this.

Lady: How could I get this infected? I have Norton.
Me: Well ma’am unfortunately even the best antivirus and antispyware programs are not infallible, sometimes infections do get past protection software. Even with the best software it is possible for users to unknowingly allow spyware to enter their system by clicking on the wrong email or popup ad.
Lady: I don’t believe you.
Me: Ummm ok, well as you can see here, you are indeed infected.
Lady: Where did I get this “infection” you speak of?
Me: I can’t say for sure, but I do see a number of things that could be potential causes, the first is Limewire, the second is that your homepage is set to myspace - and while myspace itself is not dangerous, you can definitely get infected there.
Lady: Myspace is owned by Mr. Murdoch. It is a big company, they would not let me get infected.
Me: Well ma’am,you are right, Myspace is owned by Mr. Murdoch’s company. However because it is so popular right now, it is being targeted by people who write viruses and spyware because it is a very easy way for them to spread their software.
Lady: I really have a hard time believing you.
Me: *Zorak-style BLINK BLINK*
Me: Well we would be happy to repair the infection.
Lady: Not needed, I am not infected, thank you very much. Goodbye.

Oh yeah, in other work-related news, I messed up my right leg at my last appointment. What was I doing? Walking. Kudos me.

So this is useless?

I’m insanely exhausted, but thought I’d post this story from a coworker:

Story

Business: None

Customer: Shall remain nameless

Background: …I called the customer the day before the appointment to confirm that I was installing an operating system and that the customer had a physical operating system CD on site for me to use, with a valid license key. From here, the story will take over with me in the house:

Customer: So, you’re here to get my computer setup?

Me: Yes, all I need is the computer and the OS install disc

Customer: OS Install disc?

Me: Yes, we spoke on the phone yesterday and I asked if you had a valid CD with the key?

Customer: Oh, right, do you have one in the car?

Me: Yup! Windows XP Home edition is $199 and Windows XP Professional is $299, add tax to both. You have to get the full editions because the computer currently doesn’t have an operating system and you don’t have the restore discs.

Customer: So what am I paying you $229 for if I still have to pay for the Operating System.

Me: You are paying me to install the operating system on the machine and complete the updates and transfer data, if you have any saved on your external hard drive.

Customer: Well, that is all useless without the CD.

Me: Unfortunately, I can not install the Operating System with out the CD. That is correct sir.

Customer: So this is useless?

At this point the customer picked up the computer and threw it at me. I moved my head slightly to the left and avoided the blow of the computer, which crashed loudly to the floor behind me. Now, anyone that knows me will understand my next course of action, I always stand my ground. I turned and watched the computer as it bounced and crashed through the wall. I than turned back to the customer:

Me: Alright sir, the trip charge fee is $129

Customer: What? I just threw the computer! You are asking me for $129, for what?

Me: I understand that you are upset sir, yet I still have made the trip out here and you agreed to the terms of service. Though, throwing the computer was certainly unexpected.

Customer: Do you take checks?

Me: Yes sir. $129 and I need to see your license as well.

Believe it or not the customer actually wrote out the check. I think he was more surprised that I actually stayed after he threw the computer to ask for it. I must admit, this was probably the oddest appointment that I ever went on. I never expected to actually have a tower thrown at my head, not my idea of a good time.

I can’t say I’ve ever had any calls anywhere as crazy as that one. I did miss a laptop being thrown in my old store by five minutes. I also missed a lady going into seizures after hearing how much she owed for her repairs. But, then again, who is crazy enough to pitch a baby fit in front of a tiny Asian girl?

No one yet!

Tough cookies.

Yep. So it’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but it’s been awhile since I’ve had some free time for myself to sit and think about things. I wish I could say New Year’s came and went without a bang, but it definitely was an eventful night. Don’t you ever have those “inklings” that certain things would happen and you either 1) agree with these inklings or 2) disagree with these inklings. Sometimes you get these mini-inklings like knowing what someone may say word for word or that someone is about to walk through the door or give you a call. But sometimes these inklings are deeply rooted in our hearts; they come days in advance and are basically hovering over your head, tugging at your every being to make decisions now or eat the consequences later. Well, long story short, I decided to neither agree or disagree and just waited for the consequences to come.

I’m not sure if you could say I disobeyed God, but I feel that my inactions showed my lukewarm tendencies. However, through the bruises and cuts as well as the sharp words and wounded hearts, I felt that God was in control even though things seemed out of control. Things are still out of my control and it’s something I have to remind myself every day…

I am not in control.

I have responsibilities and there are consequences to all of my decisions, but ultimately, there is a plan much bigger than myself. When most people see that, they are scared. People don’t like to be out of control. Just ask all of my crazy screaming customers. They just hate knowing there are certain rules and regulations set that don’t conform to their liking. So when some people realize that God deals all the cards and they are dealt a bad hand, they become bitter. They start asking questions like “Why me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” That’s the problem. The use of “me” and “I.” The failure to realize there is a bigger picture than what we see and feel each day. The self-absorbed, self-centered notions we were basically born with. Me, me, me.

But we ALL have the choice to think bigger. We all hit the realization that maybe life is more than our own individual lives at least once in our lifetime. There are other hearts beating, other dreams and fears, and other lives than our own. And we can’t all be self-absorbed and self-centered. Chew on that for a second. I think the world would slowly implode if that were true. If God was our genie and we all got our wishes… As satisfying as having everything we wanted come true, I think life would become even moreso unsatisfying.

We have to trust the dealer. We have to think bigger. Life is more than what is happening to us, life is more than our time here on earth. God is more than the card dealer and knows that sometimes our wants and desires aren’t what’s best for us. He’s the one that created us, don’t you think that He’d know what we needed more than we do?

But that’s a tough cookie for some to handle. And to me, getting others to realize that is my tough cookie to chew on. Then, God pats me on the head and says, “You know what? I appreciate you trying to spread the Truth around, but you do have a tendency to muck up things, so just rely on Me a little bit.” And eventually, eventually that’s all we can do. Rely on Him.

(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.

I was driving home from a very stressful day at work and the thought came into my head, “Sometimes my job is not satisfying.” I say ’sometimes’ because most of the time, it is rewarding. Fix something that was broken, turn frowns into smiles, put in your two cents so the store can make a billion… yeah, that makes for a decent job. But sometimes I can’t fix a problem, sometimes I see too many unhappy people, and sometimes try as I might, I can’t sell my two cents.

The retail business is a crazy machine. It’s a machine that ultimately lives off of numbers. I’m often convinced that the machine is actually a monster, and one that eats two things: money and people. You’ve got this crazy word called “budget” and some dude somewhere devised a formula that probably goes something like this: $ + $$ = $$$. Or, in simpler terms, “make more money.” I think the customers become side orders. I think sometimes the customer interaction is simply something that we can feel good about after making a sell. What are we really happy about? The fact that we just offered a customer the complete solution or the fact that we got a pretty penny (or a grand) from their pockets? Is there such a thing as a retail business that is customer-driven? I mean, a business that measures good business through the amount of happy people walking out of the door instead of how much money we got from the people walking out of the door? Do happy customers necessarily mean amazing numbers every day?

That’s the pickle I am forced to eat each day I’m at work. I used to be convicted about my job. Well, okay, I mean I used to be extremely convicted about my job. But then I remember I live in the United States of America. Land of the free, yes, but there are costs to living here. Don’t get me wrong, I value my job, but really… is it necessary to charge what we do? Who decided that coffee would be five bucks a cup, a movie in a movie theater is nine bucks, and fixing a computer would be three hundred bucks? Actually, who decided that we need coffee, movies, or computers?

When I get like this, I think of Africa. I think of some foreign land that I see only on television with those hungry kids with those big eyes. Those big haunting eyes that ask me if I’m having a good time watching them through my 36″ flat screen TV. I wonder if I would get satisfaction from moving to Africa and simply living a life that was totally dependent on God. Somehow I would spread the Word, feed the hungry, and make a difference while somehow managing to find a roof to live under and food to feed myself. I can only imagine how crazy people would think I was if I just up and left with what little money I had. But would it be satisfying? I can’t imagine helping others in their prime level of need to be unsatisfying. “Oh man, another day in the office. I helped feed another hungry mouth, built another house for a family, and witnessed a few people turn their lives to Jesus. It’s days like these that make me wish I had another job.”

I don’t know. I’m an American. Americans don’t just skip out on their country, leaving their families and money and gadgets behind for a country full of strangers that can’t even speak English. But what if I abandoned my self-absorption and wavering faith for my God and did exactly that? Or, even crazier, what if ten of us did so? Ten hundred? Ten thousand?

Oh, these crazy thoughts I think when I really need to go to bed.