“You’re on your knees a lot!”

Today was a much better day, mostly because I am home right now and not still working like yesterday. But at my last call, a client that took me four visits to finally get his entire house networked made this strange comment to me as I was finishing up.

“You’re on your knees a lot!”

He and his wife just moved into the house and there was little room for me to work on his laptop, leaving me to either stand or kneel. I’m not sure if he saw my “gross, you did not just say that” face, but certainly he heard my nervous laugh.

Stubborn and persistant.

I just worked fourteen hours straight.

Worked non-stop on one problem for eleven of those hours.

Ran out of battery on both of my cells and a client’s home phone trying to fix aforementioned problem.

Didn’t fix the problem.

Ran over a massive bolt, had to have tire changed.

Ate a few strips of Jack Links Teriyaki-flavored beef jerky. Also had a snickerdoodle cookie and tall Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks.

Missed a dinner date with a buddy.

My zit is getting bigger and will not comply with my demands.

Was reminded of all the trouble Moses went through to get to the Holy Land. He did not step foot there. But he did not die in vain.

It is only the middle of the week.

There are some strange cats out there.

The company I work for is nationwide and we have a forum that helps me keep up-to-date on technology and also provides a good release when work starts to drive us crazy. Here’s an example of some of the random clients we run across - the kind that asks you for help, but then suddenly know more than you do. Thanks to the fellow coworker out there that submitted this.

Lady: How could I get this infected? I have Norton.
Me: Well ma’am unfortunately even the best antivirus and antispyware programs are not infallible, sometimes infections do get past protection software. Even with the best software it is possible for users to unknowingly allow spyware to enter their system by clicking on the wrong email or popup ad.
Lady: I don’t believe you.
Me: Ummm ok, well as you can see here, you are indeed infected.
Lady: Where did I get this “infection” you speak of?
Me: I can’t say for sure, but I do see a number of things that could be potential causes, the first is Limewire, the second is that your homepage is set to myspace - and while myspace itself is not dangerous, you can definitely get infected there.
Lady: Myspace is owned by Mr. Murdoch. It is a big company, they would not let me get infected.
Me: Well ma’am,you are right, Myspace is owned by Mr. Murdoch’s company. However because it is so popular right now, it is being targeted by people who write viruses and spyware because it is a very easy way for them to spread their software.
Lady: I really have a hard time believing you.
Me: *Zorak-style BLINK BLINK*
Me: Well we would be happy to repair the infection.
Lady: Not needed, I am not infected, thank you very much. Goodbye.

Oh yeah, in other work-related news, I messed up my right leg at my last appointment. What was I doing? Walking. Kudos me.

So this is useless?

I’m insanely exhausted, but thought I’d post this story from a coworker:

Story

Business: None

Customer: Shall remain nameless

Background: …I called the customer the day before the appointment to confirm that I was installing an operating system and that the customer had a physical operating system CD on site for me to use, with a valid license key. From here, the story will take over with me in the house:

Customer: So, you’re here to get my computer setup?

Me: Yes, all I need is the computer and the OS install disc

Customer: OS Install disc?

Me: Yes, we spoke on the phone yesterday and I asked if you had a valid CD with the key?

Customer: Oh, right, do you have one in the car?

Me: Yup! Windows XP Home edition is $199 and Windows XP Professional is $299, add tax to both. You have to get the full editions because the computer currently doesn’t have an operating system and you don’t have the restore discs.

Customer: So what am I paying you $229 for if I still have to pay for the Operating System.

Me: You are paying me to install the operating system on the machine and complete the updates and transfer data, if you have any saved on your external hard drive.

Customer: Well, that is all useless without the CD.

Me: Unfortunately, I can not install the Operating System with out the CD. That is correct sir.

Customer: So this is useless?

At this point the customer picked up the computer and threw it at me. I moved my head slightly to the left and avoided the blow of the computer, which crashed loudly to the floor behind me. Now, anyone that knows me will understand my next course of action, I always stand my ground. I turned and watched the computer as it bounced and crashed through the wall. I than turned back to the customer:

Me: Alright sir, the trip charge fee is $129

Customer: What? I just threw the computer! You are asking me for $129, for what?

Me: I understand that you are upset sir, yet I still have made the trip out here and you agreed to the terms of service. Though, throwing the computer was certainly unexpected.

Customer: Do you take checks?

Me: Yes sir. $129 and I need to see your license as well.

Believe it or not the customer actually wrote out the check. I think he was more surprised that I actually stayed after he threw the computer to ask for it. I must admit, this was probably the oddest appointment that I ever went on. I never expected to actually have a tower thrown at my head, not my idea of a good time.

I can’t say I’ve ever had any calls anywhere as crazy as that one. I did miss a laptop being thrown in my old store by five minutes. I also missed a lady going into seizures after hearing how much she owed for her repairs. But, then again, who is crazy enough to pitch a baby fit in front of a tiny Asian girl?

No one yet!

Heavy metal bread.

April proved to be a rough month and I could type about the 14-hour workday I just endured, but instead I’ll share a moment I had with a coworker. I can be Debbie Downer some other day.

Monday afternoon, a coworker and I finished up a job early, so we decided to grab some lunch. I wasn’t too familiar with the area and wasn’t hankering for anything in particular, so I told him he had to call the shot while I kept my eyes on the road. He said a few names out loud, but then proclaimed, “PANTERA BREAD! That’s where we’re going!”

This is what he saw:

But this is what my brain saw:

‘Course, my coworker is higher up in the ranks than me, so I kept my mouth shut. But I was rolling on the floor laughing in my mind, picturing Dimebag Darrell and a loaf of bread.

(Oh, and I had never been to Panera before. Good stuff!)

EDIT: Oh yeah, sorry to those who thought this post would be about this: