What makes a church?

I used to have these wild ideas about what the word “church” entails, but am starting to find out a lot of my ideas were unbiblical. One pastor who has modeled a church that I would love to visit one day is Mark Driscoll, founder of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington. (Yes, this is the “Mark the Cussing Pastor” Don Miller writes about.) I listen to his sermon podcasts every week as he unapologetically describes who Jesus is - both the loving, grace-dishin’ Jesus as well as the less popular King Jesus, tattooed, sword-tongued, and ready to tell each one of us, “Well done, good and faithful servant” or “I never knew you.” Oddly enough, Mark has proved you don’t need to sugar coat Jesus for a church to grow. Maybe just a little humor and an occasional cuss word, but Jesus is enough.

I started reading Confessions of a Reformission Rev.: Hard Lessons from an Emerging Missional Church, Mark’s book about Mars Hill. It’s definitely aimed at church planters and pastors, but thought I’d read it anyway. Since I’ve listened to his sermons as well as his 2-hr lecture on church planting from a Resurgence meeting, I’ve heard a lot of what he’s written already. I did want to share this since I have been guilty of this view before:

Over the years, I have become increasingly troubled by the frequency with which young pastors simply dismiss the New Testament teaching on church leadership and discipline, so that if four guys are drinking beer in a pub, they can call it a church. One well-known expert promoting this new undefined, undisciplined, and unbiblical ecclesiology was once asked how we can possibly define what a church is if his advice of not having elders, deacons, members, discipline, or doctrine was heeded. His reponse was simply, “If it smells like a church, it is a church.” My response was that sometimes a whore wears the same perfume as a wife, and it’s no different with the bride of Christ.

So, if you want to hit up some no frills teaching, suscribe to the Mars Hill podcast or vodcast (video sermons). Not for the faint of heart, but shoo, Jesus isn’t really either.

“I’m still alive! I feel happy!”

I wish I had something to show for my online absence. Unveil a major project I’ve been working on, upload some fun pictures of crazy things I’ve been doing, or tell a story about some adventure I had the other day. But I don’t. So goes my neverending battle between mediocrity and greatness. Wrestling with ambitious dreams and lazy, comfortable routine.

But I have found something. Read more »

On books.

1. One book that changed your life: Aside from the usual Christian answer, I will say The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne mucked my life up pretty well. It helped me open my eyes as to how self-seeking we are, but how one guy actually thought the same thing, but went out and actually did some things.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once: Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. I checked it out four times in a row in junior high, I read that thing ’til I couldn’t read no more. I don’t like sci-fi but I do like books on distopian worlds (the possible future).

3. One book you’d want on a desert island: Now I’ll use the Christian answer, The Bible, just because I’ve never read it through before and having nothing else to do… well, it’d be a perfect time for me to get to know it better.

4. One book that made you laugh: I had a couple of joke books when I was a kid. I guess those made me laugh. I can’t really think of one that made me continuously laugh.

5. One book that made you cry: Schindler’s List makes me cry every time. Both the book and the movie.

6. One book you wish had been written: Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. It’s so casual and so “thinking aloud” and not so in-your-face about Jesus, but I still effective, I think.

7. One book you wish had never been written: I agree with Ann, books on wealth theology don’t jive with me. I don’t think Jesus would support a 12-step program on increasing your wealth and investments. Just me?

8. One book you’re currently reading: I tend to read more than one book at a time, but my coffee time book is currently The Barbarian Way by Erwin Raphael McManus. Barbarians are passionate. And we should be too, I think is what he’s getting at.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. I am starting to think I am one of the few Christian girls that hasn’t read that.

10. Tag five others: You, you, and you. It doesn’t matter. It’d be neat if someone else did it too, I guess.

Q&Q.

I’ve recently discovered the wonder that is podcasting. At first, I thought it was a way for every Joe Blow to have his own amateur show, complete with low-end production and boringness. I may be right somewhere, but I hit gold the other day. I discovered that I could listen to Matt Chandler’s sermons at my home, anytime. (Matt Chandler being the pastor at The Village, the church I have been attending.) If that wasn’t awesome enough, I checked out Mars Hill’s video podcasts and have been watching Mark Driscoll’s sermons. Way cool because my lack of attention span totally digs the visuals.

Anyway, I listened to Chandler speak on Hebrews 3:1-11 and “home.” I love Chandler’s approach to Scripture. Break it down, verse by verse and really take the time to digest each word. I never realized how much I was missing out by merely reading the Scriptures. But what caught my interest was his “current” affairs (the sermon was in February); a family close to him had an eight-year old daughter with leukemia and she was not doing well at all. His voice cracked as he admitted his heartbreak as well as his beef with God. That question, “Why?” Why does God allow stuff like this to happen? Little girls with leukemia, bystanders killed during wars, drunk drivers surviving wrecks that were fatal for others…

I won’t argue. It seems like a good question to keep people from following Jesus Christ. If God is in complete power, that means He let that crappy stuff happen on purpose. And who wants to believe that? Who wants to believe God is love when crap happens? It’s tough. I’ve seen it create such a bitterness in people’s hearts that they decide to pile on the bricks, to create that wall between self and God. Sometimes the walls are small, perhaps creating a friction between the already existing relationship with Christ. But sometimes the walls are so big because the heart is so battered with “whys” and Christ is never even given a chance.

As Rob Bell said in Velvet Elvis, everyone is a believer. As I believe God sacrificed His only son in order to save man from the death of sin, to create a relationship with man, atheists believe that everything exists because of some complete randomness, they believe the odds favored everything aligning and becoming what the world is today, and that there is nothing after death. Well, for the sake of this post, let’s say there is a God. And let’s say He is completely sovereign (because hey, He wouldn’t be God unless He was in complete control, right?) So things that happen? They are completely from Him. Even the bad stuff. God’s existance is everywhere. Not only in the good, but in the “bad.” To separate God from certain events is to say He’s not in charge. And for the sake of this post, I’ll remind you that there is a God. And He is completely sovereign. So He’s in the good and the bad.

So let’s say God cares about us. He created us. I mean, people don’t tend to create stuff just to hate it, right? And let’s say He cares, so naturally, He’d want to be in relationships with us. Now all of us know it is a tough thing to befriend people we don’t have things in common with, people that don’t agree with our lives completely. Same thing with God. It’s tough to start a relationship with God because He seems hard to understand, to figure out. But He knows this. So let’s say God creates an example of how we should be (while embracing our uniqueness — God wasn’t saying we should all be carpenters) so that we can be in perfect relationship with Him, so we can begin to relate to Him, understand Him, figure Him out. He creates a Way.

You either follow the Way and pursue a relationship with the Creator or you resist the way, deny the relationship, and basically refuse to live fully the life we were created to live. He creates us in a certain way and if we refuse to acknowledge the Creator, we are going to come across things everyday that will never make sense, we will go against the grain and eventually become worn down and defeated.

Some people think Christians are crazy. I think people who don’t believe in a god are crazier because seriously, I cannot imagine putting my faith in chance and chance alone. I acknowledge there is a God and that He’s shown us a Way through Jesus Christ. I can either follow the Way or deny my design.

So let’s say you’re like me. You’re following the Way. People have this misconception that when you become a Christian, things suddenly are awesomely awesome. I mean, you’re on God’s side now, He’s going to award you for that, right? People also have this misconception that Christians are perfect or at least act like they are. These are misconceptions. Things that happen in the world, good and bad, are still going to happen. I’m still a sinner, I still screw up everyday, and I’m quick to admit all this.

But it’s how the Way changes your heart that is the difference.

I’ve come to the realization that people say they believe in Jesus Christ, but there’s a difference between saying, “Yes, I believe in God and yes, I believe the Bible is true” and saying, “Ditto, but in addition to that, I’m going to live according to the Word, I am going to pursue this relationship with Christ, and I am going to let God transform my heart.” Huge difference. HUGE.

So how does this long ramble help answer the question, “Why do bad things happen?” It doesn’t, really. Rob Bell puts it very well in the first chapter of Velvet Elvis when he pointed out the fact that questions are essential to Christianity. It means you admit that you are not a god and that you are seeking who is. And if you know who is, then you come to the realization that due to the infinite nature of God, your questions — well, they are only answered with even more questions. And as frustrating and truly crazy that may sound, I found that when I allow the questions to continue rolling, I find satisfaction. I find a peace. I find an interaction with the God who created me.

I can keep asking, “Why do bad things happen?” or I can accept the fact that “bad” things happen, God is still sovereign in all things, and ask different questions. How can I continue to press on and follow the Way? How can I open my eyes to see the beauty in the “bad,” the “blessings in disguise?” Where can I find the strength to endure it all?

I’m not saying I had any answers in this post, or any answers at all at anytime. I’m just saying I’ve found myself falling in love with questions with the Infinite. And I invite all of you to join in this crazy adventure to dig deeper.

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An update to my previous post: A friend reported rain in Lubbock Thursday night. Apparently, people started praying before the Sunday gathering and God decided to jump the gun too. I wonder if they will still come together in prayer Sunday.

Almost August.

It is 6:38am. I successfully destroyed my sleeping cycle during my usual 3-day weekend. I couldn’t sleep tonight so I read the rest of Velvet Elvis. And now I’m here, ready to ramble.

I told God at the end of April that I was ready. I was ready for change. Change from my old ways that just got, well, really old. It wasn’t the fact that I wasn’t happy. It was more than the unhappiness. There were battles being fought. Physically, yes. I’ve got scars from them. Mentally, yes. I’ve played mind games with the best of them. Spiritually, very much yes… but very much no. My spiritual battle was one being fought, but I rarely joined in. I was dry. Parched. Defeated.

And now it’s almost August. Today I just thought about this summer and the places I’ve been. (Not literally, because literally, I’ve just been in North Texas and Lubbock. Not that exciting.) I went back somewhere I had been and it had changed too. Through my old friends immediate actions that late night in April, I see God’s forgiveness. His grace. His mercy. I read a few books (The Irresistible Revolution and Velvet Elvis) that renewed my outlook on what it could possibly mean to follow Christ. Along with the words from The Bible, I see God’s hope. People that believe God didn’t mean for there to be waiting, that Heaven (and Hell) are here on earth. A Savior that says, “Come and see” and never fails to show me something new. And through a few close friends, our renewed friendships, and our trials, I see God’s love. I am starting to see what accountability means and how ugly it may get, but how necessary it is. I see honesty in a new light.

I’m not in school anymore and my work schedule remains the same, but I still refer to everything in “semesters.” The new semester is coming up. Summer is almost over. I named my “band”/side project Almost August after an e-mail I wrote a good friend many years ago. I wrote about all the anxieties I had about the new school year. Also, my birthday just so happens to land on the eighth day of the eighth month, so I also wrote about all the anxieties I had about becoming older. There just always seems to be a little pressure during these “new” years. Like they are supposed to be… new. I titled the e-mail, “Almost August,” and my friend replied and added the fact that the subject line was an excellent name for a band.

I’ve written songs in junior high and high school, but I feel that when I really started writing songs was in college during my Junior year. I don’t know how some writers do it, but I could never write about wars I’ve never been in, places I’ve never been to, or my “grillz.” So I just wrote from the heart. And the songs that emerged — well, the ones I favor — were the songs that were the most honest, the most raw, and the most flexible. Songs that anyone with a heart could relate to. Who hasn’t loved? Who hasn’t been hurt? And who hasn’t, even in the slightest bit, hoped for something more?

And so it goes. I wrote enough songs to figure I could keep writing and my name is too long. The songs fit the theme I had in my e-mail to my friend. And, in a way, this is version 2.0 of that e-mail. Because I feel that anxiety again. Yes, I don’t have school, but I still have to blow out those birthday candles and there are instances in my life that I feel will be made new this month. And I have this heart, a little worn down with almost 24-years of battle scars, that — for some crazy reason — is bursting with hope for something more.

It’s almost August.