From vampires to Jesus.

I had a friend that really enjoyed reading Anne Rice’s vampire chronicles. It was her extreme interest in these books that I decided to pick one up and read them. You may all recognize her most from her book that was made into a movie, Interview with the Vampire. The movie was alright, but I found so much more richness in Rice’s words than the movie could express. Note that I’m not even interested in vampires, but found myself reading a few of her books because they were just that good. Now that vampire lovin’ author is a Jesus lovin’ one, devoting all her writings to the Lord and abandoning her vampire work (except for one that she says focuses on redemption rather than the vampires). She posted an article yesterday about her trust in the Lord and it’s worth reading.

Look: I believe in Him. It’s that simple and that complex. I believe in Jesus Christ, the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity, the God Man who came to earth, born as a tiny baby and then lived over thirty years in our midst. I believe in what we celebrate this week: the scandal of the cross and the miracle of the Resurrection. My belief is total. And I know that I cannot convince anyone of it by reason, anymore than an atheist can convince me, by reason, that there is no God.

One of the things I love about Jesus and salvation is that there is no discrimination. It is available for everyone. I know people who loved Jesus as soon as they could read, others who found Him in college, and the best stories, to me, are the ones who found Him later in life. To me, that means they had extra years to live in sin and rebellion, but even with those years, God extends His grace and mercy. I love it when I hear of outspoken atheists coming to know Christ, only to devote their entire life to them - sometimes even more passionately than those who knew Him all their life. (The apostle Paul, anyone?)

So, on this Black Saturday, I sit at my computer in awe of what He has done for us and what He continues to do. He’s the one that makes our paths straight and crooked. I have to remember this. With Christ, there is such great hope. There is such great redemption.

10:30 AM.

I think my apartment complex decided to repair the siding on my building.

I engaged in the last crazy chapters of George Orwell’s 1984 this morning after writing my last post. I had completely forgotten how absolutely dark that book is. Like, read until it is 6:30 AM, forgotten.

My version had an interesting essay, comparing 1984 with Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World and Yevgeny Zamyatin’s We (which I had never heard of or read before). I agreed with the essay’s author that Brave New World is a bit closer to what could happen to Western civilization than 1984 and presumably, We. I also thought about China while reading 1984 and the essay mentions this connection too. I think all books greatly exaggerate what could happen, but maybe they strike a few too many chords for comfort. Note to self: Reading about metaphysics at six in the morning does help and prevent sleep. It makes the mind race and get extremely tired from racing at the same time. Geez! Not a bedtime story!

Sadly, I woke up four hours later to a strange banging noise around my apartment. After I realized what was probably going on, I decided to go ahead and get out of bed. I haven’t heard the noises since. Figures!

Head west, young girl!

I am killing a little time in my layover in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I should be enjoying some coffee under the Portland, Oregon clouds right now, but God decided it should rain and rain terribly hard yesterday so my plans were thwarted. My flight from Dallas to New Mexico would not make it in time for me to catch my connecting flight to Portland. So they secured me a ticket for today.

Nina Goes to Portland: Take 2.

I wasn’t exactly happy, but I didn’t let it wreck my night. If you like people watching, the airport is a great place to do so. It was interesting to see how people handled themselves when their plans were thwarted as well. Some merely booked the next flight out, and some people muttered mean things about Southwest Airlines as if they control the weather. (Southwest Airlines, if you do, please send sunshine my way, thank you!)  I thought it was even moreso interesting that I happened to read this as I finished up Blue Like Jazz today:

“The most difficult lie I have ever contended with is this: Life is a story about me.”
~Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

Anyway, just wanted something to kill some time. It is terribly hot in the neat little laptop area they have setup at ABQ so I think I’m going to pop a squat at the gate. In the midst of the ticket switch, I only managed to be in the B group. I’ll be ecstatic if I get a window seat.

“Alone.”

I’ve been re-reading Blue Like Jazz for the past week because…

1) It’s weird to recommend books (or movies or music or anything, really) when I don’t remember much of it. I read Don Miller’s book when I first arrived in Dallas almost two years ago and it changed my thought process a little, in a good way. I can’t even tell you why anymore. But, I still recommend the book so I might as well refresh the ol’ peanut memory.

2) I’m hitting up Portland, Oregon soon - this city that Miller writes so fondly about. I like to say it’s a “magical” place although I’m sure no Oregonian would describe it in that way. It’s Miller’s fault that I’m in love with a place I’ve never been to before. Oregon should hire Miller to whip up an advertising campaign to encourage people to visit. I’ve been writing down places he mentions in hopes that I can visit these places and say, “Hey! Don Miller was here!”

Anyway, all that was not the point of this post. The point is that I’ve been reading the book for those two purposes… but I think God used it to remind about something. Last night, I ended on the chapter titled, “Alone.” Miller is big on community which lines up with the pastors I listen to, and shoo, Jesus kinda liked crowds too, yeah? Even I shoot my mouth off about community, probably because of all of the aforementioned people said it’s a good thing. And my brain agrees.

Miller writes: Rick [edit: Imago Dei Community pastor, Portland, OR] told me, a little later, I should be living in community. He said I should have people around bugging me and getting under my skin because without people I could not grow - I could not grow in God, and I could not grow as a human. We are born into families, he said, and we are needy at first as children because God wants us together, living among one another, not hiding ourselves under logs like fungus. You are not a fungus, he told me, you are a human, and you need other people in your life in order to be healthy.

I read this last night and felt that twinge. Like, “Oh man, I’m not doing this right.” I harp on people about community, but when it comes down to it, my whole body revolts because shoo, community is hard. Community is hard because it’s a synonym for “a whole bunch of sinners, living life together” and that can get ugly. People are different - they are strange, awkward, loud, quiet, obnoxious, paranoid, messy, stressed, stressful, and have the power to hurt you.

I’ve been living by myself in Dallas for almost two years. I understand the crazy thoughts Miller admits in the chapter, “Alone.” Living by yourself definitely has perks — your mess is your mess, the TV is always on the channel I want it to be on, and I’m on my time. I don’t doubt this has socially stunted me though. It’s put me in a very “me-centered” state-of-mind all the time and I’ve become very selfish with my time at home. I’m not dissing time alone at all because that is definitely needed, as Jesus even found time regularly to be alone and with the Father. But I think living in community forces you into thinking about others more than self.

Long story short, I went to bed with that on my mind last night. Then tonight, someone asked me if I’d be interested in moving into her house.

Weird.

I’m not sure if that’s going to go anywhere, but right now, I’ll take it as a reminder from God that I need to stop paying market price for my single bedroom apartment, and go forth and face some fears.

Tomorrow my bro flies in and we’ll be enjoying some John Mayer and Ben Folds action. It’ll be a busy weekend, so keep it cool, cats.