Perfection.
Just wanted to point out something from my RSS feeds, specifically from Anne’s blog who took it from her friend Sarah’s blog. No, I know neither of these people, but Anne Jackson has written several articles for Relevant that I happened to stumble upon. Then I stumbled upon her blog. I enjoy her posts because she definitely sounds like someone I’d love to have coffee with over conversations on design, the world wide web, and life in general. Anyway, here’s the quote:
My perfectionism creates a demand for the unattainable. This perpetuates my self-hate and tendency to isolate - because if I can’t be perfect, no one will accept or love me, of course. Our society demands perfection. Everyone I encounter is “puttin’ on airs,” as my dad would say. (Southern for pretending to be something you’re not). Image is everything. I loathe my imperfection. I wish I was pious enough to embrace it as a reminder of the abundant Grace which covers my imperfection. But I can’t claim to be anything of the sort. Imperfection to me spells disaster. On the one hand, I do seek to be transparent in some areas. What an oxymoron. Partially transparent.
I don’t know what to say about it right now, but it hit a chord in me so I thought I’d make note here.
As far as life has been, it’s been busy. A good busy though, as a few of us have been celebrating a friend’s birthday all weekend long. It left a bittersweet taste in my mouth though as I’ve realized our times together are definitely numbered. I mean, yes, duh, my days on earth are numbered, but I’m guessing the chances of all of us getting together again could be counted on my hands. People are picking up and moving out. It’s strange.
Today I just felt resistance to growing up. Strong resistance. Because growing up means letting go and there’s just some stuff that I don’t want to let go of, you know? In due time, I suppose. I just think back to the circles I used to run in and I don’t remember when the circles changed. I think back at all of my closest friends and how I barely know them anymore. (Except for one or two!) But schools change, classes change, jobs change, locations change, and hearts change.
Personally, I don’t think I’ve ever get used to it. I still think about all my best friends from junior high, high school ,and college and wonder what went wrong. But, in most cases, I’m sure nothing went wrong. That’s just how life works. People walk in and out. No wonder people yearn for something solid to stand on.
Tags: grace, life, relationships
